To my surprise and disgust, I was informed by the ticket agent that in addition to those miles, I would also be required to cough up an additional $160, thanks to a huge increase in the UK Air Passenger Tax, which took effect last February; this is essentially a "Carbon Sin Tax", which is predicated on the questionable assumption that since I'm taking up more room in biz class, I should be penalized for creating more greenhouse gases.

Now I'm no "Global Warming Denier", as some of the more quasi-religious environmentalists I know like to put it, and if given the option to voluntarily purchase some sort of offset, such as the ones various airlines like Quantas offer on their website, I'd happily contribute, but this tax really fries my crumb because it completely ignores the reality that sending me to the UK to teach allows my 9 British students to avoid having to travel to the US in order to take my class, so instead of making an oversized contribution to climate change, I'm actually helping to reduce it!

Gordon, let me share a little secret with you: taxes like this will only hurt the UK in the long run. Businesses are going to get sick of your stealthy pickpocketing and tell you to go get stuffed while they transfer their high-paying jobs to countries like China and India that don't give a rat's ass about carbon emissions. As a matter of fact, tomorrow I'm going to be in a meeting, suggesting to my company that we move our future training classes to the Continent.

It's bad enough that I have to put up with shitty, 3rd-world airports like Gatwick, overpriced British food, and cities full of drunken, belligerent yobs. You should pay me to fly to your crappy little island.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 6:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

You can view my meagre selection of trip photos over on Flickr. I'll be posting more when I awaken further.

[Link: Melbourne Flickr Set]

Posted by MrBaliHai at 2:45 PM | Permalink

G'day Gooftonians,

I'm relaxing in my hotel room after a long, hot morning of flea marketing around Melbourne. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything besides a souvenir outrigger canoe from Tonga that was far too large to fit in my suitcase, but I still had fun looking. I think I'll head over to Der Raum later this evening for a cocktail or two before dinner. Tomorrow, I start working for a living again.

I wandered all over the city on foot and via tram yesterday. I visited Luna Park (pictured above) at St. Kilda's Beach, then had a nice squid and sausage salad on rocket at a cafe along the Esplanade, I also walked around the Docklands area. In downtown Melbourne, I checked out the Shag prints at Outré Gallery, and dug through the piles of pop-cultural detritus at Minotaur.

Melbourne is a quirky town. A little ragged around the edges, with a vibe that I can only describe as "hippie-industrial," but it's got a peculiar charm that makes it interesting enough to command my attention. I'm sort of regretting not hiring a car so I can venture a bit further afield than the end of the tram line, but with the crowds of tourists on summer holiday jamming up the local highways, it's probably just as well I'm sans wheels.

Unfortunately, I seem to have packed the wrong USB cable for my digital camera, and a replacement would set me back $30, so you'll just have to wait until next weekend to see my photos. Believe me, you're not missing out on too much.

So until then, I give you all the Australian salute (brushes away flies from face)

Posted by MrBaliHai at 7:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been very busy getting a bunch of work projects finished off before I leave for Australia tomorrow morning.

To get there, I'll be undertaking a grueling marathon of flights from Minneapolis to L.A., then on to Auckland, New Zealand, finally arriving in Melbourne sometime on Thursday morning. Altogether, I'm looking at around 20 hours of flying with another 12 hours of layovers. Here's hoping I don't wind up with deep-vein thrombosis from all that sitting around in in cattle class and uncomfortable airport lounges.

I've never been to Melbourne before, and it looks like a fun town, so I should be able to locate some interesting things to do while I'm there. As an added bonus, it's midsummer in the Antipodean hemisphere and Melbourne is currently cooking at around 90 degrees Fahrenheit, which sounds pretty damn good compared to the schmuddel wetter we're currently experiencing here in Wisconsin.

I was briefly very excited to find out that there's an actual Tiki bar in Melbourne, and even more psyched to discover that it was only about a mile from my hotel. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was short-lived after e-mailing the proprietor, a very nice chap named Kevin Clark, who dashed my hopes by telling me that they'll be closed for renovations during my visit. Bugger.

In other alcohol-related news, I'll be contributing to a new 'blog called Cocktailians, along with a couple of other crotchety old Metafilterians, Vidiot and Chico Bangs. I had hoped to make my first entry something about Polynesian Pop Down Under, but I guess I'll have to drink my way through to a different topic.

Bon Voy-a-gee, as the Wabbit would say.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 5:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)