Highlights included watching the entire south of England grind to a halt early this week, due to less than 2-inches of snow, the heaviest fall of the white stuff for 18 years. Lucky for me, it cleared up just in time for me to catch my flight out of Heathrow on Saturday morning. As a hardy Wisconsinite, I can only laugh at the wimpitude of this former world empire, brought to its knees by such tiny amounts of frozen water.

Unfortunately, I was unable to hook up with the Cartoonist this trip, thanks to my dodgy mobile phone not relaying his messages to meet him last Sunday, but I did manage to meet up with Tiki Chris and quaff several cocktails at the London Trader Vic's, including an authentic London Sour, shown here complete with Union Jack and a 3-sheets-to-the-wind Mr. Bali Hai mugging for the camera. It was good, but I prefer my version in the previous post.

More photos of TV at Tiki Chris' joint.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Here's an excellent Scotch-based cocktail created in 1965 to celebrate the opening of the London Trader Vic's. I used 12-year Lagavulin scotch, a single-malt from the Isle of Islay, that imparted a nice, smoky flavor to the drink. It was smooth, but not overpowering. I'm probably going to Scotch Hell for using a single-malt instead of a blended Scotch in a mixed drink, but it tasted good, so bite me, Scotch snobs.

2 1/2 oz. Fresh-squeezed orange juice
3/4 oz. Fresh-squeezed lemon juice
1/4 oz. Simple syrup
1/4 oz. Orgeat syrup
2 oz. Scotch

Shake with 1 1/2 cups of crushed ice and pour into a double old-fashioned glass. Garnish with an orange wedge, a Union Jack, and Old Glory.

Cheerio and Toodle Pip and all that rot.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 6:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Chef Shangri-La is an old-school Cantonese restaurant/bar, festooned with lots of tiki decor which apparently was inherited from an even older restaurant called the Shangri-La. The hanging lamps appear to be vintage Witco and Oceanic Arts. Their food is pretty good, if you like your chinese cuisine deep-fried, and their drinks are average. I ordered some exotic concoction called a Dr. Fong, which is apparently their signature drink, and spent a lot of time trying to puzzle out what made it taste like Vicks 44 Pineapple Cough Syrup, eventually coming to the conclusion that it was probably some kind of schnapps.

Last night, Mrs. BH and I left the kids at the hotel to play with their laptops, and drove over to Hala Kahiki, an absolutely gorgeous vintage palace of Polynesian Pop, dating back to 1966. Their authentic Witco decor was simply stunning, as you can see from the photo above and the Critiki link, and the vibe was very laid back, despite the best efforts of some grossly obese and foul-mouthed patrons out on the patio to ruin it for us. Their drinks however, were a big disappointment: weak, and very bland tasting. I had a Scorpion and a Navy Grog, and couldn't tell them apart! They didn't give me a hint of a buzz either. If they made them like I make them at home, my better half would've been driving us back to the hotel.

All in all, it was a fun, if all too brief escape from our boring, suburban lives here in Western Wisconsin, but I think we'll leave the grumpy teenagers at home next time and just go as a couple.

[Link: Chef Shangri-La Entry on Critiki]
[Link: Hala Kahiki Entry on Critiki]

Posted by MrBaliHai at 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

We've just returned from a 3-day trip down the Great River Road to pick up our daughter from orchestra camp in Decorah, Iowa. We stayed at a couple of bed-and-breakfasts along the Mississippi River, antiqued and thrifted 'til we dropped, ate odd local delicacies, and generally had a very fun time. The weather was absolutely picture-perfect.

As you can see, my tiki-scoring mojo endured my return from California, as I managed to find cool PolyPop tschotkes just about everywhere I went, and at very reasonable prices too, although I did have to pass up a couple of fairly common Trader Vic's fog-cutter mugs which some jackass dealer had marked up to $95 each! Good luck selling those, buddy.

Larger images and item descriptions are located once again in the mug gallery, and some photographs of our trip can be viewed at my Flickr account. I even saw a Tiki bar along the muddy Mississipp, but unfortunately, there wasn't a single thing tiki about it besides the name.

[Link: Tiki Mug Gallery]
[Link: Great River Road Photos]

*-No actual foam Cheeseheads were harmed in the making of this truly awful song parody.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 9:53 AM | Permalink

Aloha, I have returned from England. My body is 5 pounds heavier, and my wallet is a couple-hundred pounds lighter.

I had several fun and interesting meetups with various blogger-friends during the 2 weeks I was there. First off, I enjoyed a traditional Sunday roast in South London near the Borough Market with The Cartoonist and Konstantin. We eschewed recording a podcast this time due to the extreme noise levels in the pub.

The following Tuesday, I joined a whole host of London Tiki-lebrities at Sugar Cane in Clapham Junction: Tiki Chris, Tiki Racer, Trader Jim, Cheekytiki, Sian the Exotic Tramp, and Will Kane. The drinks were great, and Sugar Cane's manager, Justin, comped us several platefuls of excellent puu-puus. Trader Jim lavished both issues of his Tiki fanzine, Pocketiki, upon me, and Tikiracer gave me a print of his original artwork. Cheers, fellas! Tiki Chris also filmed us individually introducing ourselves and our websites, which you can view at his 'blog [Link]

Finally, I met up with Tiki Chris and Trader Jim again at the London Trader Vic's last Thursday for a few Navy Grogs and Mai Tais. Chris had a wee hangover from the previous evening, so he nursed it quietly while Jim and I did most of the talking. James is an old punk like me, so we had a lot in common. It's funny how most punks seemed to migrate to Exotica over the years. We called it quits around 9:30pm and managed to escape with a bill just slightly over £100; it would've been less, but I just couldn't bear to part with this cool Vic's free Mai Tai coupon! I'm going to frame it and hang it over the bar.

That's all the news that's fit to print about this trip. I'm off to the basement now to start running off my extra poundage on the treadmill.

Aloha,

Mr. BH

Posted by MrBaliHai at 7:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I'm off to the Peoples Paradise of the United Kingdom for the next 2 weeks, and will only have Internet access from work, as I refuse to pay the extortionate fees that my hotel charges for daily connectivity (£25/day!). Consequently, blogging will likely be non-existent until I return.

You kids stay out of my tiki bar and don't throw any wild parties while I'm gone. I've counted all the rum bottles, and if anything's missing when I get back, there'll be hell to pay!

Posted by MrBaliHai at 7:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Back in 1966, I flew Aeroflot between Moscow and Leningrad with my parents, and it was indeed a most memorable, if not exactly enjoyable, experience: we suffered through terrifying turbulence that caused the borscht to slop out of our bowls and into our laps, and ugly Babushka stewardesses covered with hairy moles, who looked like wicked witches straight out of fairy tales (except for their pillbox hats and white gloves). And yes, they really did have wooden tables like those shown in the ad.

[Link: John-C's Flickr Set][via Schadenfreudian Therapy]
[Link: Moscow Postcards: 1966]

Posted by MrBaliHai at 8:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

To my surprise and disgust, I was informed by the ticket agent that in addition to those miles, I would also be required to cough up an additional $160, thanks to a huge increase in the UK Air Passenger Tax, which took effect last February; this is essentially a "Carbon Sin Tax", which is predicated on the questionable assumption that since I'm taking up more room in biz class, I should be penalized for creating more greenhouse gases.

Now I'm no "Global Warming Denier", as some of the more quasi-religious environmentalists I know like to put it, and if given the option to voluntarily purchase some sort of offset, such as the ones various airlines like Quantas offer on their website, I'd happily contribute, but this tax really fries my crumb because it completely ignores the reality that sending me to the UK to teach allows my 9 British students to avoid having to travel to the US in order to take my class, so instead of making an oversized contribution to climate change, I'm actually helping to reduce it!

Gordon, let me share a little secret with you: taxes like this will only hurt the UK in the long run. Businesses are going to get sick of your stealthy pickpocketing and tell you to go get stuffed while they transfer their high-paying jobs to countries like China and India that don't give a rat's ass about carbon emissions. As a matter of fact, tomorrow I'm going to be in a meeting, suggesting to my company that we move our future training classes to the Continent.

It's bad enough that I have to put up with shitty, 3rd-world airports like Gatwick, overpriced British food, and cities full of drunken, belligerent yobs. You should pay me to fly to your crappy little island.

Posted by MrBaliHai at 6:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

You can view my meagre selection of trip photos over on Flickr. I'll be posting more when I awaken further.

[Link: Melbourne Flickr Set]

Posted by MrBaliHai at 2:45 PM | Permalink

G'day Gooftonians,

I'm relaxing in my hotel room after a long, hot morning of flea marketing around Melbourne. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything besides a souvenir outrigger canoe from Tonga that was far too large to fit in my suitcase, but I still had fun looking. I think I'll head over to Der Raum later this evening for a cocktail or two before dinner. Tomorrow, I start working for a living again.

I wandered all over the city on foot and via tram yesterday. I visited Luna Park (pictured above) at St. Kilda's Beach, then had a nice squid and sausage salad on rocket at a cafe along the Esplanade, I also walked around the Docklands area. In downtown Melbourne, I checked out the Shag prints at Outré Gallery, and dug through the piles of pop-cultural detritus at Minotaur.

Melbourne is a quirky town. A little ragged around the edges, with a vibe that I can only describe as "hippie-industrial," but it's got a peculiar charm that makes it interesting enough to command my attention. I'm sort of regretting not hiring a car so I can venture a bit further afield than the end of the tram line, but with the crowds of tourists on summer holiday jamming up the local highways, it's probably just as well I'm sans wheels.

Unfortunately, I seem to have packed the wrong USB cable for my digital camera, and a replacement would set me back $30, so you'll just have to wait until next weekend to see my photos. Believe me, you're not missing out on too much.

So until then, I give you all the Australian salute (brushes away flies from face)

Posted by MrBaliHai at 7:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)