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May 8, 2008

Let's Do A Monster-specific Dance!

Criswell_Mae.jpg At last, something has roused me from my blogospheric torpor! Max Sparber has disinterred the moldering corpse of the not-quite-dead-yet, Essential Ghoul's Record Shelf, a weblog dedicated to a rather specific list of song stylings which include the following topics:

I am a monster.
My girlfriend is a monster.
Everyone we know is a monster, so let's do a monster-specific dance.
I'm being chased by a werewolf.
I have had a spell cast on me.
Where did all my blood go?

The Ghoul then goes on to add a new topic to his repertoire: Let's sing a song about hilariously inaccurate television psychics.

Criswell Predicts tells the story behind Mae West's stirring hoochie-koochie paean to her psychic friend, the Amazing Criswell, who, as you may recall, predicted that Mae would not only become President of the United States in 1960, but would also accompany him to the Moon (along with Liberace).

It's a great song, and a terrific reintroduction for the Ghoul. You have been missed, you rotten old creep. Welcome back!

[Link: Criswell Predicts]

April 29, 2008

Cartoon Clichés of the South Seas

cover.jpg Mike Lynch has scanned and uploaded a number of old gag books in the past few months, but the desert-island theme of this collection really caught my eye (for what I assume are obvious reasons). Most of the humor is stale, un-P.C., and dated, but I still get a kick out of the fine line work on display.

[Link: SOUTH SEA CARTOONS compiled & edited by Harold Myers]

Ballyhoo_cover_sm.jpg This might be an opportune moment to invite everyone to revisit my own tribute to lame, insensitive, tropical-island humor, the April, 1935 issue of Ballyhoo Magazine.

[Link: Ballyhoo Magazine -- Hula Hula Number]

April 25, 2008

Daleks Ueber Alles!

2440079621_68ce7e64c2_o.jpg 2440136496_cb12f2b847_o.jpg 2440909024_0444ee7791_o.jpg Screencaps from the 1965 film, Dr. Who and the Daleks.

EXTERMINATE!!!

April 21, 2008

How To Care For Your Monster

HowCareMonster.jpg HTC4.jpg The Drunken Severed Head and Frankesteinia take a nostalgic look at Norman Bridwell's classic childrens book.

[Link: How To Care For Your Monster, Part I, Part II][via Exclamation Mark]

April 19, 2008

How to Look Like Doug Henning and Frank Zappa's Love Child

Good_Looking.jpg My Best Blog Buddy Forever, Mr. Dante Fontana, is back on the job at PCL after a long hiatus, and submits this gem of Seventies self-improvementiana from the Livejournal Vintage Ads community. I can't wait to order this and release my "inner good looks", since Lord knows I don't have much in the way of "outer good looks" to release...

[Link: The Looking Good System]

March 22, 2008

Knit One, Hurl Two

scan0001+(Medium).jpg My cousin has been knitting since she was 5 or 6, when my favorite auntie first taught her how to make shawls for her Barbie dolls. She started blogging about her yarn fetish a while back (and didn't tell me!), so I'm going to publically out her here on the Goof...;-)

Love this vintage pattern for a knitted bodysuit from the '70s. I hope she digs up more groovy patterns like this for our edification/edu-muh-cation!

[Link: 70s Style]

March 19, 2008

Pretty in Punk

punkhowto01.jpg Jass420punk presents the classic 1977 guide to New Wave couture, How to Look Punk, created by illustrious fashion maven, Marliz, in conjunction with L.A. punk in-crowders, Jenny Lens, Helen Killer, and Pleasant Puss. It's chockablock with helpful fashion tips that show you how to use chains, wrist-wraps, neck thongs, and garbage bags to look "punk pretty"...just like your favorite punk-rock superstars, including the loverly Alice "Douche" Bag, and the dreamy Bobby Pyn!

It also helpfully explains exactly how to "pogo":

"...the Pogo is a highly energized dance form, a theatrical and emotional reflection of today's society. Frenzied movements tell a story of confrontations and frustration....The Pogo is composed of an alternation of moving and holding stances, freestyle, move and hold, move and hold, and on and on."

Whew. All these years I thought it was just jumping up and down in one place. Who knew that it was such an art form?

[Link: How to Look Punk]

For Those "Hard To Reach" Areas

File0001.jpg

[Link: Men's magazine ads from the '60s]

February 24, 2008

Puppets...In....Spaaaaaace!

space_puppets.jpg I'll bet you've always wondered how to make your own pair of retro space puppets. Well, now you can sew Andy Astronaut and Mandy Martian from this handy pattern and have hours of fun re-enacting bad science-fiction films with them.

[Link: How to Make Space Puppets]

February 6, 2008

The Joker Is Me

poster.jpg World of Kane continues to dig up brilliant stuff, like this fine pair of posts on British singer, Anthony Newley and his lyrical partner, Leslie Bricusse. Newley, while not technically a great singer, brought a completely over-the-top delivery to songs like "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off", and my favorite, The Joker, which features incredible horn charts over a catchy guitar riff, with Bricusse's overly-maudlin lyrics icing the musical cake:

There's always a funny man in the game
But he's only funny by mistake
But everyone laughs at him, just the same
They don't see his lonely heart break
They don't care as long as there is a jester, just a fool
As foolish as he can be
There's always a joker, that's a rule
But fate deals the hand and I see
The joker is me

Newley's definitely an acquired taste, but his unbelievably melodramatic songs keeps drawing you back like a rubbernecker at a car wreck.

And don't miss the clips of Sammy Davis Jr. smooching Newley's ass along with Hugh Hefner and Bill Cosby on Playboy After Dark. Nobody could get his nose up someone's sphincter farther than Sammy.

[Link: Anthony Newley: the RCA Years]
[Link: Sammy Sings Newley]

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