Eye of the Goof

Black and WTF

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:47:48 -0600

Vintage Child Abuse

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:06:05 -0600

Weekend Matinee: Flashman (1967)

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 08:25:08 -0600

Flashman is a terrible Italian flick from the Sixties about a clumsy masked crimefighter who hangs out with a ditsy hippie chick and battles a crime-lord who's stolen an invisibility formula. The best thing about this turkey is the theme song, a sublime mix of spy-jazz and Batman.

[Link: Flashman Theme (MP3)]

Tupperware for Saints

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:13:54 -0600

Reliquaries are containers created to hold religious objects, particularly the relics of Catholic saints. They are usually beautifully wrought works of art in their own right, and often depict the relic that they contain, like the foot of Adalhard van Corbin and the skull of Charlemagne (both shown above). Some wag I know once called them "Tupperware for Saints."

In my travels, I never pass up an opportunity to visit museums, cathedrals, and other sacred sites that maintain reliquary collections. The Domschatz in Aachen, Germany and the Museum Catharijnecovent in Utrecht, Holland have some particularly fine specimens of the art. You can see more of my reliquary postcards in the extended entry.

Mehmood Fevah!

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 20:35:28 -0600

[Link: Hum Kali Hai]

Valentine's Day Dessert, 2010

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:13:10 -0600

Death by Chocolate and a bottle of 2005 Renwood Zinfandel Amador Ice.

I Was a Teenage Crossdressing Communist Werewolf for the FBI

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 08:38:14 -0600

Kiliki Cooler

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:30:26 -0600

I've been taking cocktail photographs for a couple of years now, and my first efforts were not very impressive, if I do say so myself. Apparently, I've improved significantly, because a couple of weeks ago, Christie (Tiki Kiliki) White asked me to shoot some photos of her signature drink, the Kiliki Cooler, to use with the materials she's sending out to promote The Hukilau in Fort Lauderdale this year. Needless to say, I was honored, and more than happy to do it.

Here's my favorite pic out of the 5 or 6 that I shot. The cocktail itself was created by Beachbum Berry, and it features prominently in the recipe section of his 'blog. I made a couple of them for the photo shoot, and it's delicious. Good thing for auto-focus and a tripod, otherwise this woulda been a pretty blurry shot!

Punk 'Zine Archive

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 06:14:56 -0600

As you may have noticed, I haven't been terribly inspired to post much lately. Seems like there's less and less fresh and interesting content out there on the Internets these days. An awful lot of good bloggers appear to have abandoned their sites in favor of tweeting, which I, quite frankly, have no interest in following (or doing).

However, I still stumble across the occasional gem, and the Punk Zine Archive weblog is a 24-carat lump of Cubic Zirconium mounted on an Iron Pyrite safety pin. It's just what it says it is, a huge collection of scanned punk 'zines from the Seventies and Eighties. Fascinating and addictive, you can easily waste a couple of hours here drooling over the fab guerilla artwork, amateur gig photography, and sophmoric, yet enthusiastic writing. I was both happy and sad to be reminded of a brief period in which a lot of people actually gave a shit about music, and wanted it to be something more than just the platform for vapid, Paula Abdul-blessed, cookie-cutter nitwits it's become today.

[Link: The Punk Zine Archive]

Crystal Head in the Hawaiian Sunset

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:45:02 -0600

I received a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka for Christmas this year. It's made in Canada at a distillery that's apparently co-owned by Dan Ackroyd. There are clips of him at the official website babbling about Roswell, the "invisible world", and using the skull to manifest your inner Shirley McLaine, or something. It's also been triple-filtered through polished crystals known as Herkimer diamonds, whatever the hell that means. It still tastes like straight grain alcohol to me. I read a couple of online reviews that claim it's got "vanilla and candy notes", but I think they're just trying to rationalize having spent a ridiculous amount of money on a bottle of fermented potatos in a glass skull. Whatever. It's certainly a cool decanter, and a great gimmick that looks terriffic in my Tiki bar.

I looked over some Vodka cocktail recipes in the Bum's books this afternoon, and decided to make the Hawaiian Sunset from Sippin' Safari. Pretty darn tasty, although I really need to start making my own Orgeat. The Torani syrup I'm using is like pure cotton candy with a hint of almond extract.

Tabonga and Jerry

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 18:22:15 -0600

Baby, it's cold outside, and nothing goes better with subzero temps here in the Upper Midwest than a steaming hot Tom and Jerry, so I thought it might be fun to try and tikify this classic Winter tipple. I call the result the "Tabonga and Jerry" after the killer Polynesian tree monster in the not-so-classic cult film, "From Hell It Came."

1/2 cup of Tom and Jerry batter (buy it pre-made at the store or google the recipe and make it yourself)
1 oz. Cruzan Blackstrap Rum
1 oz. Presidente Mexican Brandy
1/2 oz. Fresh-squeezed Lime Juice
1/2 oz. Fee Bros. Falernum

Add all ingredients to a tiki mug with a handle, then add boiling-hot water to fill. Dust with ground nutmeg and garnish with a cinnamon stick.

A Good Day for Mug and Ku Hunting

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 10:32:36 -0600

L-to-R: Treasure Craft mug with jewelled eyes, OMC Fu Manchu mug, OMC Pointed Headdress mug, Hawaiian tiki shot glass with leather neck thong
L-to_R: a pair of fired-clay Ku statuettes, Hawaiian monkeypod Ku, Coco Joe's Ku, Trader Vic's S&P shakers

Mrs. BH and I have the week off from work, so we undertook a 400-mile antiquing marathon roadtrip yesterday and scored a whole bunch of cool Tiki schwag...dirt-cheap. We found most of it at a huge antique mall in Colombus, WI. Mugs and carvings at antique stores are usually marked up to ridiculous prices, so it was nice not to have to fork over a ton of moolah for a change. I was especially happy to finally get my hands on the vintage Fu Manchu and pointed-headdress mugs. The weird little monkeypod Ku was pretty unique as well, it looks almost Cubist in its design. As big as the mall was, I was a bit surprised that this was all I could scrounge up, but that's the Midwest for you. I've always said that I shoulda built a Bavarian Bierstube downstairs, because then I would've been able to stock it from floor-to-ceiling with old beersteins, which are a dime-a-dozen 'round here.

To celebrate our scores, we stopped at a old-school downtown diner in Colombus and lunched upon excellent Reuben sammiches with sauerkraut made from scratch, and corned beef. Delish!

The only sour note of our tiki deathmarch was played by our new car, a Honda Insight hybrid. It's a great city car, but it does poorly on the highway. Its suspension is stiffer than a truck, the engine is seriously underpowered, and it's very squirrely in a strong crosswind. By the time we arrived back home, my arms were aching from trying to keep it from being blown off the road. Fortunately, the 45 mpg we were getting helped eased the pain somewhat.

The Final KazooKulele Countdown

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:31:20 -0600

Curse you, Lonita!

[Link]

Goodnight, Keith Moon

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:27:29 -0600

[Link]

Scorpion Time!

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:03:21 -0600

Yes, I'm still alive. I've just been working my ass off nights and weekends for the last month, and now I'm relaxing at home with my family, enjoying a much-deserved Thanksgiving holiday.

I did a little antiquing today, and made an excellent score: this beautiful Orchids of Hawaii R-94 Volcano Bowl. After giving it a thorough washing-out, I decided to make a delicious Steve Crane's Luau Scorpion (recipe courtesy of Trader Tiki), which I shared with my new drinkin' buddy, Tongaroa Ted. Ted's a great guy, but you've gotta watch him, otherwise he totally bogarts the bowl!