I suppose a short prologue is in order here to explain exactly how and why I wound up taking a weeklong vacation in Korea.

I lived with my parents in Incheon and Seoul back in the early 1970s when my father was working for Fluor International, building an offshore tanker pipeline and oil refinery on the Yellow Sea. I was a spoiled little American brat, and refused to have anything to do with Korean food or culture. As I've matured somewhat since then, I've had a hankering to return and sample the things that I deliberately passed up during my misspent youth.

In the late '80s, I got the opportunity to briefly return to Seoul in my capacity as a technical support engineer for Cray Research. I only spent two days there, most of the time trapped in a hotel attempting to engage in productive dialogue with the local service manager who was far more interested in drinking OB Beer and ogling Phillipino strippers, than talking shop with a newly-minted technogeek like me.

This year, my current employer decided to force all of their employees to wipe some cash off the books by taking several days of mandatory vacation during the Memorial Day week. I had 90,000 frequent-flyer miles to burn, and an old college chum living in Daejon who was more than happy to put me up in his apartment during the week. The rest, as they say, is not worthy of even a minor footnote in the history of the world as we know it.

Having failed to secure an upgrade to biz class, I arrived at Incheon airport after two miserable flights lasting a total of 14 hours, crammed into cattle class with screaming brats, while trying to digest largely inedible airline meals. As if that weren't enough fun, our plane was hit by lightning during our landing approach. Lovely. I'm already a nervous flyer, and my meds had worn off hours before.

Once I got my feet on the ground, however, things got rapidly better. I'd made a reservation at a nearby hotel, and they sent a shuttle out to get me post-haste. My room was quite spacious and very cheap. SARS has done wonders for creating travel bargains in Asia. After a quick check of my e-mail (the whole country appears to be wired for broadband) I was soon comfortably snoozing my jet lag away. I got up early the next morn, and got shuttled back to the airport where I caught an early bus to Daejon. It was raining buckets and the driver barreled down the expressway like a maniac. I constantly hear people poking fun at overly-cautious Asian drivers here in the US, believe me, none of those drivers are Korean.

The bus deposited me in front of a Daejon hotel and I gave Mark a call. He picked me up at the bus stop in his dilapidated little Hyundai and took me back to his pad. His job at the local university provides him with a luxurious (by Korean standards) 3-bedroom apartment in a huge block of ugly concrete towers, all of which appear to have been modeled after the style of former Eastern-bloc socialist countries like Romania and Eastern Germany. His apartment was nice, but extremely noisy. The family above him has two totally sugared-up little sprogs who spent all day and much of the night jumping up and down on their floor (his ceiling), and banging away tunelessly on the family piano. Good thing I had earplugs.

After depositing my luggage and having a bite to eat, we drove out into downtown Daejon to see what there was to see. The city itself has little to offer in the way of culture, and functions mostly as a sort of Silicon Valley for various tech industries and university research centers. We spent an hour or so at the site of the '93 World's Fair which is a sprawling collection of weird, run-down and rusting hulks of international pavilions that've been turned into a kind of fun-fair now known as Expo Science Park. It was quite a surreal atmosphere, sort of a cross between Disneyland and Logan's Run. We wandered around the grounds trying to locate the North Korean pavilion, I had visions of it containing a fabulous, informative exhibit illustrating how Kim Jong Il's offical hairstylists create that unique "shaved duck" look of his, but it was closed, sadly.

After that, we drove around looking for a currency museum indicated on our official Daejon tourism map. We eventually located it hidden behind the local mint (go figure). It was actually quite interesting, full of exhibits of paper and metal currency dating from feudal times to the present. Somewhat incongrously, there was also a special photography exhibit dealing with Korean pottery. The photographer himself was present and insisted on giving us a picture-by-picture guided tour in his broken, but charming English. Afterwards, he presented us with a couple of custom-made postcards with his photos printed on the front which we accepted gratefully.

At this point, I just want to stop the narrative for a moment and mention the incredible kindness and friendliness of the Koreans that I met, they were all helpful and open to a fault and did everything within their power to try and communicate with us if we demonstrated even the slightest bit of interest in their culture. Unfortunately, many of the children appeared to be unbelievably spoiled and reckless little monsters, especially the males, but that appears to be something of an Asian cultural phenomenon that's not limited to Korea.

Mark had to work half-days most of the week, so after Sunday I was largely on my own. I managed to get around well by taxi, although the drivers usually scared the bejesus out of me with their unbelievably aggressive driving habits, and made it out to several sites of historic interest and/or natural beauty outside of the city. One morning, I went hiking in a huge park called Bomunsan which featured a stone fortress situated on top of a mountain that was also dotted with lovely little shrines and temples.

I also journeyed a bit farther afield to the towns of Gongju and Buyeo where there were ancient tombs from the Baekje Dynasty, old palaces, and yet more elaborate Buddhist temples. The hill fortress of Gonju is famous for its legend of the 3,000 ladies of the court who leapt off a cliff rather than submit to the impious lusts of the Chinese and Silla kings who pillaged their city.

When not traveling about via psycho taxi, I entertained myself by watching Korean soap operas dubbed helpfully in English. The plots invariably revolved around scheming mother-in-laws and ungrateful children disappointing their noble, self-sacrificing parents by refusing to adhere to time-honored Confucian principles.

Mark and I also did a lot of dining out in the evenings. The food was unfailingly delicious and unbelievably cheap. All meals featured an appetizer course consisting of several varieties of kimchi, followed by a main meat dish, typically marinated pork or beef, broiled over a grill in the center of our table. The meat could then be wrapped in fresh leaves, topped with radishes, sprouts, and other veg, and eaten with gusto. After dinner, we usually stopped in the local bars for a beer. The patrons were mostly college kids who all wanted to practice their English with us. Very few foreigners besides us were in evidence.

On Wednesday, Mark had the day off so we drove out to a nearby national park called Gyeryongsan which is sort of a nexus of Korean Buddhism. There was a large network of trails that wound up to the top of towering granite ridges, passing by numerous shrines and temples. A beautiful stream filled with tiny rainbow-colored fish and white star-shaped tree blossoms floating along the surface trickled down the mountains along the main trail.

We hiked first to a Buddhist nunnery called Donghaksa where we found ourselves surrounded by nuns wearing baggy gray robes and sporting shaved heads. Many wore wide-brimmed straw hats. Quite a few religious ceremonies were in progress during our visit so we stopped often and listened to the ritual drumming and chanting. The whole experience would've been very relaxing and meditative if not for the hordes of Korean housewives swarming over the trails yakking loudly and getting drunk off of soju, a rather nasty, brown, vodka-like beverage made from rice, or yams. Korean culture is very much stuck in the 1950's. Women are expected to stay at home and raise the kids, so you run into herds of these asiatic June Cleavers everywhere you go. Despite the relative ease of the trails, everyone was decked out in extreme hiking gear topped off with a pair of white gloves. Weird.

We wandered farther up the trail which became increasingly steeper. The weather was gorgeous but quite humid, so we were rapidly becoming soaked with sweat. Eventually we wound up at the foot of a series of long wooden ladders set into the mountainside that led up a very steep cliff face to the top of the ridge. On the other side was a temple called Gapsa. At that point we were winded and starving, so we decided to turn around and head back down the mountain to get something to eat.

Back near the trailhead, we found a small restaurant with a deck right over the bubbling stream. Mark ordered a dish of pickled vegetables
mixed with chili paste, meat, and rice called Bi Bim Bbap, and I had a plate of fried potato cakes with scallions and squid filling. We washed it all down with a delicious folk liquor made from Chrysanthemums. We knew that we were drunk when neither one of us could say "Bi Bim Bbap" properly any more. Feeling pretty stuffed (and buzzed) at that point, we spent some time relaxing on a boulder in the sun next to the stream and watched the little fish darting around in the cool water. The banks of the stream were dotted with little man-made piles of stone, their purpose unknown to us, but probably spiritual in nature.

Eventually, we returned to the car and drove back into Daejon. Later, after sobering up somewhat, we located a restaurant that specialized in Samgyetang, a particularly wonderful dish featuring a whole chicken stuffed with glutinous rice, ginseng, chestnuts, and deer horn which was then chopped up into a kind of porridge and fed to us by our gracious (and rather randy) hostesses. I don't know why being hand-fed is such a turn-on, but dammit, it is.

To be continued...