Eye of the Goof

Let's Do A Monster-specific Dance!

2008-05-09T00:05:49Z

At last, something has roused me from my blogospheric torpor! Max Sparber has disinterred the moldering corpse of the not-quite-dead-yet, Essential Ghoul's Record Shelf, a weblog dedicated to a rather specific list of song stylings which include the following topics:

I am a monster.
My girlfriend is a monster.
Everyone we know is a monster, so let's do a monster-specific dance.
I'm being chased by a werewolf.
I have had a spell cast on me.
Where did all my blood go?

The Ghoul then goes on to add a new topic to his repertoire: Let's sing a song about hilariously inaccurate television psychics.

Criswell Predicts tells the story behind Mae West's stirring hoochie-koochie paean to her psychic friend, the Amazing Criswell, who, as you may recall, predicted that Mae would not only become President of the United States in 1960, but would also accompany him to the Moon (along with Liberace).

It's a great song, and a terrific reintroduction for the Ghoul. You have been missed, you rotten old creep. Welcome back!

[Link: Criswell Predicts]

Cartoon Clichés of the South Seas

2008-04-29T22:37:09Z

Mike Lynch has scanned and uploaded a number of old gag books in the past few months, but the desert-island theme of this collection really caught my eye (for what I assume are obvious reasons). Most of the humor is stale, un-P.C., and dated, but I still get a kick out of the fine line work on display.

[Link: SOUTH SEA CARTOONS compiled & edited by Harold Myers]

This might be an opportune moment to invite everyone to revisit my own tribute to lame, insensitive, tropical-island humor, the April, 1935 issue of Ballyhoo Magazine.

[Link: Ballyhoo Magazine -- Hula Hula Number]

Grog Log Revisited

2008-04-27T21:13:59Z

Gone the Beachcomber
Planter's Punch
Tahitian
In honor of its 10th anniversary, I decided to delve into Beachbum Berry's Grog Log this weekend, in search of killer cocktails I might have passed over in the 8 years or so that I've owned it. As you can see from the photos above, the results were pleasing to the eye, at least, but after sampling these drinks, I have to say that in general, the cocktail recipes in the Grog Log seem to lack the complexity of the libations listed in the Bum's newest tome, Sippin' Safari,

The best of the three by far was the first, Gone the Beachcomber, a float of Demerara 151 over Maraschino liqueur, 80-proof Demerara, lemon, lime, and passionfruit syrup. The Maraschino liqueur tended to obscure the other flavors, so I'd recommend cutting it back from 1/4 oz. to 1/8 oz. (1 tsp).

I followed it up with the Planter's Punch, which I topped with a flaming crouton stuck into a lime shell. With 3 tsp. of grenadine in the mix, the punch turned out far too sweet for my tastes. I had to 'shop the photo quite a bit to make the flame visible, but I think the contrasty colors make it look like it came out of an old brochure or postcard, so it's cool.

The final drink of the evening was the Tahitian, a combination of pineapple and lime juice, with 3 rums, which produced a very harsh-tasting, flat libation. I'm not sure what it was lacking, but it definitely needed something to lift it above the ordinary. It got better as the ice melted and diluted it, but I don't think I'll be making it again.

Daleks Ueber Alles!

2008-04-25T12:15:19Z

Screencaps from the 1965 film, Dr. Who and the Daleks.

EXTERMINATE!!!

The Grog Log Turns Ten

2008-04-23T00:32:54Z

Happy 10th Anniversary to Beachbum Berry's Grog Log, the first book of tropical-cocktail mixology I ever bought, and still one of the best. I'll be looking forward to picking up a copy of the revised edition (if the Bum ever gets off his bum long enough to write it).

[Link: Happy Anniversary to Us]

How To Care For Your Monster

2008-04-21T23:39:00Z

The Drunken Severed Head and Frankesteinia take a nostalgic look at Norman Bridwell's classic childrens book.

[Link: How To Care For Your Monster, Part I, Part II][via Exclamation Mark]

How to Look Like Doug Henning and Frank Zappa's Love Child

2008-04-19T14:02:00Z

My Best Blog Buddy Forever, Mr. Dante Fontana, is back on the job at PCL after a long hiatus, and submits this gem of Seventies self-improvementiana from the Livejournal Vintage Ads community. I can't wait to order this and release my "inner good looks", since Lord knows I don't have much in the way of "outer good looks" to release...

[Link: The Looking Good System]

Dr. Tiki Gets Rickrolled

2008-04-19T13:51:46Z

Hanford Lemoore exacts his horrible revenge on Dr. Tiki (from Tiki Bar TV) at Forbidden Island in Alameda with this extremely clever prank involving the house jukebox.

Until today, I had been hitherto unawares of the phenomenon known as "Rickrolling". Suffice it to say that it involves Rick Astley, which should be enough to give any right-thinking person an unpleasant clenching sensation in the depths of their bowels.

[Link: How I Rickrolled Dr. Tiki]

Shark Attack!

2008-04-19T12:54:16Z

I've been on a pretty strict diet for the past couple of months (-16 pounds so far!), so I've been limiting my booze intake drastically in order to cut out unnecessary calories, but I still allow myself the occasional weekend cocktail or glass of wine. Last night, I start fooling around with the Tiger Shark recipe in Sippin' Safari, and came up with the following tropical cocktail, which I've dubbed the Shark Attack:

1/2 oz. 10 Cane Rum
1/2 oz. Ron Matusalem Gran Reserva
1/2 oz. Lemon Hart Demerara (80 proof)
1/4 oz. Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur
6 drops Absinthe
1 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. rock candy syrup
Dash of orange bitters

Pour all ingredients in blender with 1/2 cup of crushed ice and blend for no more than 5 seconds. Pour into specialty glass and fill with more crushed ice.

It was stupendous. The Luxardo gives this drink a really funky aftertaste of bitter almonds and musk, while the Absinthe, as is its wont, opens up the drink and makes each component stand out distinctly. I had to restrain myself from making an entire pitcher of them and putting 5 pounds back on overnight.

I Wouldn't Hang That In My Rumpus Room

2008-04-19T12:39:20Z

Iowahawk's satire is right on the money with this comic-book ad parody aimed at the Yale Art School student who artificially inseminated herself multiple times, then induced miscarriages in order to "encourage discussion" of abortion.

As a former art student, I can't tell you how tedious (and typically batshit insane) the attention-junkies behind these sorts of political "art" statements can be, as well as the professors who encourage them. All I wanted to do was learn how to paint, draw, and illustrate. Instead, I got 3 years of forced indoctrination. UItimately, I had to transfer to a tech college and get an electronics degree in order to clear my brain.

[Link: Close Cover Before Striking]

Beat the Meatles

2008-04-12T12:30:33Z

Monster Movie Music unearths the rotting corpse of an almost-forgotten musical horror comedy starring Steve Winwood and the Spencer Davis Group, one of several cheesy Mod flicks that emerged in the wake of Hard Day's Night.

[Link: The Ghost Goes Gear]

Here's a couple of clips from the film that feature the SDG and a very young Winwood (in his pajamas) doin' their Sixties Groove Thang, along with a fine blue-eyed soul raveup from another band featured in the film, The St. Louis Union:

[Link: Nobody Loves You When You're Down and Out]
[Link: When I Come Home]
[Link: English Tea]

Tiki Equality

2008-04-12T12:28:33Z

Because our society demands it...

[Link: Vintage Drink Guys]

Waiter, There's a Girl in My Drink

2008-04-11T18:33:09Z

Remember the days when that Flaming Volcano Bowl you ordered at the local Tiki Temple would be brought to your table by a lovely Wahine? Neither do I, but this thread at Tiki Central makes me want to pretend that I do.

[Link: Vintage Drink Girls]

Nui Nui!

2008-04-10T01:03:04Z

I've been on the wagon since my return from the UK 6 weeks ago, but tonight, I decided to fall off temporarily in order to make myself a Don the Beachcomber's Nui Nui. This afternoon I prepared a batch of homemade vanilla and cinnamon syrup, and after dinner, I used it to whip myself up a delicious adult beverage, containing freshly-squeezed orange juice, lime juice, and a couple of ounces of Matusalem Gran Reserva rum that I picked up on sale earlier in the week.

As you can see below, the results made me spontaneously sprout a fez, a surprisingly tasteful Aloha shirt, and a pair of wraparound Malibu Jim shades.

Mmm, dat's smoooooovvvve!

Today's Tiki Schwag

2008-04-08T00:27:26Z

I'm burning some vacation time this week, so I hopped in the car this morning and drove down to Wisconsin Dells and La Crosse to do some antiquing. As you can see, I had one of my best days ever for scoring tiki schwag. No small feat in an area that's typically devoid of such Polynesian Popschotkes, so I'm a pretty happy Kane tonight.

Clockwise from left: Coco Joe's Menehune figurines, bowl and palm tree made from coconut husks, well-endowed Tongoroan tiki carving, "Suck 'Em Up" Hawaiian souvenir glass, Coco Joe's Tiki Boat ashtray with sake glasses, Mai-Kai postcard

Click on the Extended entry for larger images of each item.

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