Dude, You Got Racked
In a tale that's guaranteed to make your short 'n' curlies stand up straight, Ron shares the harrowing story of the day that his cojones were introduced to the shifter of his Schwinn Stingray.
Every guy who's ever ridden a bike has a similar horror story, of course. When I was a kid living in Denmark, I had one of those weird European folding bicycles, and I was riding it along a busy highway on my way to visit Trelleborg.
I was in the habit of pedaling while standing up off the seat, so when I went over a bump, the quick-release lever on the handlebars popped open, they swung down, and I dropped squarely onto the bottom bracket of the frame.
The pain was unbelievable. I spent what seemed like an eternity jumping up and down on the side of the road grimacing and clutching my jewels, which must've been a highly amusing sight to the people cruising by.
I wonder how you say 'racked' in Danish?
Comments
"I wonder how you say 'racked' in Danish?"
You say, "Oww Oww Owwwwww!"
Posted by: Kimberly | July 7, 2005 2:32 AM
I don't know how to say 'racked' in Danish, but i know that 'balls' in Spanish is 'cojones', not 'cajones'. 'Cajones' is 'drawers' (like a knife or junk drawer, not underpants).
Posted by: rone | July 7, 2005 3:19 AM
Yeah, I knew that was wrong even as I was typing it last night, but thought to myself, "Ron will correct it."
And I hope I didn't just start a meme about testicular injuries.
Posted by: MrBaliHai | July 7, 2005 9:14 AM
Dude, I feel your pain! But when I was a kid, I had an even worse mishap! I was riding a bike of mine that the seat had popped off of and only the steel seat-stem was poking up (see it coming?). I thought, well, I'm just riding it home one more block, what's the chances that stem will wind up up my butt? :)
Welp, I was yelling over to a friend I suddenly saw and went right off a huge curb and lost a hold of the handlebars for a second.
Yep.
Much pain was had by all.
Posted by: Keith | July 7, 2005 8:25 PM
Keith, you clearly tempted the Universe's cruel sense of humor and lost!
And sirgravesghastly is a great domain name, btw.
Posted by: MrBaliHai | July 7, 2005 8:41 PM
Hehe, yeah, that's a good way to put it, MrBaliHai!! :)
And thanks about the domain name! Though I have a few fun blogs I've recently started, my Sir Graves Ghastly site is my true passion. Are you familiar with SIr Graves?? (old Detroit TV Horror Host, for anyone wondering)
Posted by: Keith | July 7, 2005 10:44 PM
Yes, I know who Sir Graves is, although I never saw his show. I grew up in LA which was sort of a hotbed of horror hosting, so I watched Sinister Seymour, Moona Lisa, and a few others whose names I can't recall right now.
Check out these horror hosts entries I blogged last year:
http://reality.sgiweb.org/mattm/balihai/archives/000250.html
http://reality.sgiweb.org/mattm/balihai/archives/000251.html
I also scripted and acted in a local show called Chester's Chillers:
http://reality.sgiweb.org/mattm/docs/pact.html
Posted by: MrBaliHai | July 7, 2005 11:01 PM