When Birthday Badgers Attack!
Today is my daughter's 11th birthday. I gifted her with a copy of The Gashleycrumb Tinies which should complement her rather dark sense of humor nicely. To give you an example of how my darling little girl thinks, here's a snippet of a conversation we had a couple of days ago:
Emma: Christmas and Easter have icons like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, birthdays should too!
Me: That's a good idea. What would you suggest?
Emma: The Birthday Badger!
Me: The Birthday Badger?
Emma: Yeah, he comes out of his den on the night before your birthday and leaves presents underneath your bed if you've been good!
Me: But what if you haven't been good?
Emma: Then he mauls you with his razor-sharp claws!
Me: Oh my.
Happy Birthday, Emma!
Please don't hurt us.
Comments
Spoken like a true Wisconsinite.
I like her already. (Happy b-day a day late, Emma.)
Posted by: czeltic girl | January 24, 2005 6:56 PM
Thanks, we like her too (but she scares us a little sometimes).
Posted by: MrBaliHai | January 24, 2005 7:21 PM
Well, naming her Emma was your first mistake. My little sister Emma used to write really twisted stories as a kid (including one where someone is stabbed to death with an umbrella) and now writes really twisted poetry.
Posted by: towerbrave | January 24, 2005 7:57 PM
You're probably right. Plus my wife insisted on spelling her middle name R-E-N-A-E, so she's doubly doomed.
And Em does write pretty twisted stories, but I love them. Her tale of the nuns being abducted by aliens is my fave.
Posted by: MrBaliHai | January 24, 2005 8:53 PM
I'd like to see the appearance of a Birthday Badger...especially if I could sic' it on to people who MAKE me 'celebrate' my birthday...
Happy Birthday Emma!
Posted by: eddie | January 28, 2005 3:31 PM