Dear Greedy Old Bastard,

After reading MOJO's glowing reviews of your newly remixed and remastered CD reissues, I went to our local record store to purchase two of my favorite Rolling Stones albums, Exile On Main Street and Aftermath. To my horror and surprise, they were both priced at $18.99. Needless to say, I left emptyhanded.

Mick, babe, what the fuck? As great as these albums are, they're both more than 30 years old and you and the boys haven't put out a listenable album since Undercover, 20 years ago. You're washed up old geezers, and I wouldn't pay more than $9.99 for a reissue even if you included a vial of Keef's pre-transfusion blood with every CD.

Are you attempting to gouge your fans in this egregious manner simply to maintain your increasingly offensive and ludicrous jet-set lifestyle? I guess those young models just won't let Old Rubber Lips slip them the Meat and Two Veg anymore without lots of cash in the bank, eh?

See you in the Super Savers bin.

Your smallest fan,

MrBaliHai